The film is based on the mystery by Janet Evanovich.
A scene from the 2012 movie "One for the Money" starring Katherine Heigl"One for the Money" ONE STAR
Rated PG-13 for strong language and violence
Running time: 104 minutes
It is not a great sign when a big studio movie opens without much in the way of publicity and interviews. It’s a terrible sign when a big studio movie opens without any advance screenings.
And when tickets to a big studio movie are dumped as part of a two-for-one Groupon deal – well, that’s one for the books.
Also “One for the Money.”
The film is based on the mystery by South River native Janet Evanovich, who recently told the Star-Ledger she approved of the adaptation. So that’s nice for her, I guess.
But if this movie is truly faithful to her popular series – well, then I have no idea how it ever became popular. Because the movie itself is dully unbelievable and generally pretty dreadful.
Katherine Heigl stars as Stephanie Plum, a scrappy divorcee who lives in Trenton and used to work in the lingerie department at Macy’s in Newark, until she got laid off six months ago.
And if you’re wondering why anyone in Trenton would not only drive close to 200 miles roundtrip to work each day, but to a job which didn’t exist – because, you know, there is no Macy’s in Newark – then clearly you’re from Jersey. Also you’re paying attention.
Neither is probably recommended if you’re going to enjoy “One for the Money” -- which, by the way, apart from a few establishing shots, was mostly made in Pittsburgh and rarely makes much sense.
Needing cash, Plum soon goes to work as a bounty hunter, a job which seems to require her to get flustered and drop her gun a lot. Luckily there are two separate hunky guys she kind of has crushes on, both of whom regularly show up just to get her out of scrapes.
I guess I can’t call the movie sexist as it was largely produced, directed and written by women. So I’ll settle for calling it dull, corny and amateurish instead.
The direction – by a veteran of TV series and a single wan Miley Cyrus movie – is ugly and cheap, with clumsy reaction shots and awful lighting. The script is a mess, with one character existing solely so Plum can call her on the phone and unload exposition.
But no performer gets out of this unscathed.
A Dublin actor named Jason O’Mara shows up to play ex-cop Joe Morelli, and is just as convincing a Joe Morelli as you’d expect a Dublin actor named Jason O’Mara to be. Debbie Reynolds, or her figure from the Hollywood Wax Museum, plays Plum’s grandmother.
As for Heigl, who clearly sees this as an important career move – she also helped produce – well, she’s not nearly as winsome and adorable as she seems to think she is. Actually she hasn’t been for awhile, and if you don’t believe me, go rent “Killers.” Or “Valentine’s Day.” Or “Life as We Know It.”
Or better yet, don’t. Be smart, and take my word for it. And if Groupon is smart, they’ll go back to telling us about that great new sandwich shop that just opened up two towns away, and leave stale ham-and-cheese hoagies like this thing behind.